He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize