There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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