I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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