I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize