I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
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I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
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When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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