If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
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its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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