o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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