Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize