what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize