He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize