I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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