My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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