Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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