these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
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what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
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So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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