none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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