Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
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There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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