just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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