stop calling my apartment porn island.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I will pee on everything he values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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