The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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