I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize