I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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