it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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