K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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