Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize