So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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