lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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