Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
nutella sex= disaster
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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