And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
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Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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