So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize