I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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