I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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