So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's never too late to be topless.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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