She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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