At least make sure they are 18
Why
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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