Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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