You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize