You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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