"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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