Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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