a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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