We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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