dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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