i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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