Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize