i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's official drugs can't kill me
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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