So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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