He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize