You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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