Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize