I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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